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 Hmm, I guess this can go here

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Camreonkel
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PostSubject: Hmm, I guess this can go here   Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:26 pm

Ok so i got bored and decided to share this with you.
Background Info
Spoiler:
 

I shall explain more later if you guys like the amount i'm about to post.

Spoiler:
 

So that's it , i hope you liked it. If you can, do you think you can CnC?
Anyways, Thank you for your time.
Note: This is the intro for what i expect to be chapter three of the story.
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MoonsAura
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PostSubject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here   Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:25 pm

The imagery of this is very well you used nice adjectives could been more specific though making the audience very aware of her surroundings. This would be good in a book for like a second chapter for some reason i have no true idea why a bird would have a key all the attention is focused on THAT key and why does the bird have it. You should continue on this.

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King
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PostSubject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here   Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:04 pm

skipped the first part, tbh.
the second part was gold.
im pretty used to just starting stories.
please continue this.

make it into a book.

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Camreonkel
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PostSubject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here   Sun Jun 05, 2011 7:20 pm

Thank you Raven and Tammy, i shall get to work on finishing the beginning of this ^-^ and post more information as i go ^-^
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