Camreonkel F1R5T!!11!
Gender : Posts : 262 Join date : 2011-02-19 Age : 28 Location : The Revolution's Library
| Subject: Hmm, I guess this can go here Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:26 pm | |
| Ok so i got bored and decided to share this with you. Background Info
- Spoiler:
This is a world where its inhabitents have control over the abilities it contains. The abilities are mostly based off of the types from Pokemon; Water, Fire, Ice, Grass, Ground, Rock, Dark, Psychic, Ghost, Flying, Normal, Fighting, Poison, Steel, Electric, Bug, Dragon, and Shadow, with Ground and Rock being one ability on it's own. To the world's inhabitents, the Dragon, Shadow, Ghost, Dark, Bug, and Normal are unusable due to Dragon, Ghost, Dark, and Bug being hidden and completely unknown to those that can't use it, and Shadow and Normal have been thought to be extinct. In this story, the above types are elements, and each inhabitent of the world has control over only one. With that, each "element" is seperated into tribes. Now that the pokemon part, it's time to get the other origin out of the way. Avatar The Last Airbender. <<< If that doesn't explain it then hopefully this next sentence will. There's a person that can use all of the types, but instead of one, there are two. << I shall explain more later if you guys like the amount i'm about to post.
- Spoiler:
Locked within a tower on the clouds, sat a girl. Flames from the torches in the halls and the sunlight entering from the window were her only sources of light. She sat in a corner, her left side against the wall and pressing on her silky-smooth, black hair. She sat there depressed, starved, and alone as she had lost hope for the safety of her kingdom. The bars of the cell were solid steel and at her current strength, impossible to break. Even so, the girl was staring at the wall opposite to her, as if her soul had left her body. Resting in front of her was a folded fan, it's design concealed. At the base of the door to the sell were several trays of food, each untouched and the food on them unrotten. Each tray had an apple, some cooked meat, which was still hot, a glass of water, and some sliced vegetables. Even though the food was still warm and not rotting, it had been nine days since she had been inprisoned and the first one placed in the cell. This was due to one of the invaders. A few blue birds flew by the window and one of them remained. In it's beak was a key, and in her current state, the girl did not notice. The bird dropped it; the sound of the key hitting the bench between the girl and the wall awakened her from her unconcious state. She stared at the key and then slowly looked at the bird. The birds beak opened, as if it were trying to talk and say, "You're welcome," and then flew away. The girl didn't say anything. Instead, she slowly crawled to the key and picked it up. She stood up, ambled over to the cell door, slipped her small, thin hand through the cell bars and unlocked it. She left the key there, withdrew her hand, and pushed the door open. She then looked down at the trays on the floor and picked up a green apple. Three bites were all she took before dropping it and walking out into the long hallway. Finally, reaching an intersection in the hallway she turned right, and at the end of her path were two men gaurding the door to the outside. "What the... The princess has escaped!" one of the men yelled. Immediately following his words, the sound of an extremely strong wind roared and the men yelled in pain.
So that's it , i hope you liked it. If you can, do you think you can CnC? Anyways, Thank you for your time. Note: This is the intro for what i expect to be chapter three of the story.
| |
|
MoonsAura F1R5T!!11!
Gender : Posts : 317 Join date : 2011-02-19 Age : 28 Location : My World
| Subject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:25 pm | |
| The imagery of this is very well you used nice adjectives could been more specific though making the audience very aware of her surroundings. This would be good in a book for like a second chapter for some reason i have no true idea why a bird would have a key all the attention is focused on THAT key and why does the bird have it. You should continue on this. | |
|
King Admin
Gender : Posts : 469 Join date : 2011-01-16 Age : 26 Location : Amurica
| Subject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:04 pm | |
| skipped the first part, tbh. the second part was gold. im pretty used to just starting stories. please continue this.
make it into a book. | |
|
Camreonkel F1R5T!!11!
Gender : Posts : 262 Join date : 2011-02-19 Age : 28 Location : The Revolution's Library
| Subject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here Sun Jun 05, 2011 7:20 pm | |
| Thank you Raven and Tammy, i shall get to work on finishing the beginning of this ^-^ and post more information as i go ^-^ | |
|
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Hmm, I guess this can go here | |
| |
|