It's not only me, right? Parents fighting. Parents getting on your case...
My parents got a divorce when I was around three. My dad is a real douche. He let his family talk him into divorcing my mom a few years after I'm born. When I was five or four my dad came back begging my mom to get back together again. My mom accepted because she want me to have a father. Because of this, my parents never showed affections. Like they weren't in love like they were supposed to be.
This year my parents and I went to a cruise. We had friends come with us. And certain topics came up. Misunderstandings. And my dad believed in them. And he fought with my mom again. The worst kind; completely ignoring each other. And I was in the middle of it. Caught between two people I love the most. I had to eat dinners alone or choose which parent to eat with. Watching my mom do nothing in the house was torture. My dad was sickly sweet; like he wanted me to be on his side. I talked to both of them about their feelings. And I realized that my parents did love each other. After one big final fight, they resolved their conflict.
For a short time though. It happened again. The same routine. And I was so scared. My dad attempted to leave. And I felt like it was my fault. My whole world was tearing apart in front of me. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was so scared. On the day my dad told me he was going to leave, I cried in the bathroom wrapping a towel around me so I could feel like I was being hugged. But after another fight they resolved.
Things are a bit better now. But I am so, so terrified that I'm going to have to deal without that again. And I have a feeling I will.
Among the fighting parts, my mom told me that if they separate, I would have to move out the house I was living my whole life
. And my mom still tells me, "I don't know how much longer I can deal with this". Even though they aren't fighting.
I realized that when I'm scared I can't write. My thumb can't hold the pencil upright.
My parents had another fight today. But I think it's short term. But I was doing my homework when they were fighting and I could nt write. And I got so scared.
Life isn't fair. It never is.
AND ALSO. My dad's side of the family is insane. I and dead serious. They hate my mom; they wanted my dad to divorce her-when she already had a kid! (ie: me)
Life isn't fair
it's fucked up.
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